The New York City Paradox

The New York City Paradox is this:

1 city. 8 million people. no one to talk to.

so i didn't want to say this. didn't want start out with what's wrong with New York. didn't want to crush anybody's dreams about life in the big city. but after i had been here for a month i started to think that if only...

if only someone had told me about this. if only someone had told me how lonely it can be when you're in a new place an all alone. especially a place like New York. you know it doesn't say that on any of the post cards. you never read in any travel magazine, "Come to New York City! Be lonely!" but perhaps you should. at least you'd have a heads up.

my theory for why this is true would have to just be the New York State of Mind. The NYSM is all about speed. go go go. now now now. fast fast fast. get there get there get there. everyone here walks about as fast as i can jog. a friend of mine told me once that New Yorkers weren't mean. they just needed more time to "thaw" than what i would be used to. my friend was so right. in New York people are a little wrapped up in doing their own thing. and in the city you see so many different people everyday that it is hard to even notice when you are introduced to someone new.

even it does happen to be an exceptionally chatty and inquisitive someone from the midwest.

so for the first couple of months in New York i was on my own. on my own in the big apple. or something cliche. and while it was amazing part of the time. half the time i was a bit miserable.

i will say that slowly i've started to meet people. nice people. i have friends here and it's nice. i've been to museums with friends, to dinner parties in manhattan. to nightclubs in the Meatpacking district and Soho!! being in New York finally got to be as glam as i always knew it could be.

but it took a while. much longer than i'v e been used to in the past. the last time i was new somewhere it was college. but everyone was new and that made it easier to meet people. and to go from being in a place where it felt like i was friends with or had at least met absolutly everyone on campus and in the city, to the largest city in the northern himispere and not knowing a soul was, well, shocking. i wouldn't completely call it culture shock because i'm still in my country of origin. speaking, for the most part, my native language. i would however call it culture shock on more of an intimate level.

a personal culture shock.
the difference is that culture shock happens to you as a result of everything that is happening around you. people wearing different clothes, speaking a different language, worshiping a different God. all things that happen to you on the outside. but a personal culture shock is shocking to yourself at your core. whoever i am at my core was pretty freaked out by this transition to a new place.

and while i would never trade that experience. still,

i could've used a heads up. that's all i'm saying.

consider yourself fairly warned.