I am a Rude New Yorker

First i want to let you know that you should never tell a New Yorker that they are rude. for two reasons.

1.) they don't like it, it offends them
2.) they are in denial

now anyone who knows me knows that i hate rudeness. it is one thing that gets me truly angry. of course being in New York has taught me that something like rudeness is relative. i never knew that. i think i always thought it was one of those things that was the same across the board. but not so. if you are from a place, the Midwest for instance, where the people in your opinion are nice. not as hospitable as the south, but still in your area of the Midwest people try. try to be nice. try to be polite. try not to be rude.

in New York it's different. New Yorkers don't have time...to try. They are very busy. They walk very fast. and they don't have time to try not to be rude.

so instead of categorizing them as rude, i'll call them "direct". even the way they say 'excuse me' (if they say "excuse me") is done in such a hurried and semi-annoyed way that it makes you question whether or not they even really mean it. but what i realized on the subway is that the way i would say "excuse me" to someone i was trying to get past is altogether different than how a New Yorker would say it. I would take time to make sure that i was nice about it.

or at least i would have 3 months ago.

What I've realized during this the beginning of my 13th week in New York is that it takes approximately 8 weeks to adopt this "directness" as we'll call it. i'll give a few examples:

1.) My first week here when i would here people speaking different languages i would think it was so interesting and cool and i loved being able to witness such vast diversity in one place.
- Now when ever i hear people speaking a different language (which is all the time) i think, I wish they'd shut the hell up.

2.) The same thing goes for the first time i saw a group of rabbis walking down the street. i thought it was so funny, it looked like the beginning of a joke. but it was great because you don't see that everyday where i'm from.
-Now recently when i saw a group of about 14 rabbis walking around midtown at lunchtime i thought, Why don't you fucking rabbis walk a little faster so that i can cross the fucking street!

3.) Which brings me to this: New Yorkers use the f-word. a lot. and now suddenly so do i . i used to think that only on shows like Sex&The City did characters like Samantha say it all the time. not so. Everyone in New York says it in real life like it's going out of style.

4.) Before i came to New York i never had a problem with people looking at me. you know what i mean? like when you're in a public place and there are plenty of people around and your eyes just wander. i mean, i have eyes, i look at people all the time. so when someone looks at me i'm never offended by it.
-Now this is when i knew i was becoming a New Yorker. I was leaving for work one morning a few weeks ago and as i walked up the steps to the platform to get the train i disticntly saw a woman look me up and down. i don't know why, but the thought that instantly entered my head was, What the FUCK is she LOOKING at?! I don't know where this came from. I'm not that person. that person who cops an attitude at all, let alone just because someone looked at me. Missouri Myra just thinks, oh, perhaps she likes my outfit. or maybe i look familiar to her. i should smile. but for whatever reason New York Myra gets pissed.

5.) Finally this example is very recent. as recent as about 9am this morning. When i got off the train in midtown to go to my internship i decided to buy myself an "everything" bagel with cream cheese (my new favorite) from a street vendor before heading into the building. my usual bagel guy is on 33rd street in his cart between the fruit guy and the post office. he's very nice and polite. he always smiles and i always tip him. but because i was already running late (imagine that) i decided to stop at the one a block closer on 34th st (yes, where the miracle happened). The bagel always cost me $1 (and i tip my usual nice bagle guy a quarter) thinking that certainly there would be no difference within only one block i asked 34th st bagel guy: "Can I have an everything bagel with cream cheese please?"
he goes to grab it and i say, "$1 right?" and he says to me, "$1.25" I give him a dirty look and reached in my pocket for change and then he says,

"it's okay, if you don't have the quarter it's fine." he says it in that New York direct half-annoyed way that make me feel like he's not really doing me a favor.

I hope that you know that the bagel most likely did NOT cost $1.25. he was going to charge me extra because i asked him so he assumed i didn't know. as i took my bagel (i only paid $1) i walked away thinking,
I'll bet it is okay, because it's only one fucking dollar anyway. you goddamned asshole.

i don't know what's happening to me.